Sunday, September 2, 2012

You Know You Drink Too Much Coffee When...

  • You lick your coffeepot clean. 
  • You spend every vacation visiting "Maxwell House."
  • You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don't even work there.
  • Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
  • You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
  • Your T-shirt says, "Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's coffee."
  • You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
  • Charles Manson thinks you need to calm down.
  • You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
  • Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.
  • Your taste buds are so numb you could drink your lava lamp.
  • You're so wired, you pick up AM radio.
  • Your life's goal is to amount to a hill of beans.
  • Instant coffee takes too long.
  • You want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of eternity in a coffee can.
  • You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
  • You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
  • You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
  • You think being called a "drip" is a compliment.
  • You don't tan, you roast.
  • You don’t sweat, you percolate.
  • You don't get mad, you get steamed.
  • You soak your dentures in coffee overnight. 
  • You introduce your spouse as your coffeemate. 

1 comment:

  1. Nice! I should be sipping my coffee while reading this. :)