The Paradox Of Care

Over the past five days I have found myself dealing with an unexpected time of incapacitation caused by a random medical situation.  While dining out with a group of people from our church, a piece of steak got lodged in my oesophagus, resulting in extreme pain and vomiting a lot of blood.  After a number of non intrusive attempts to dislodge the steak in the Emergency Department at Berwick Hospital, I was transferred to Dandenong Hospital where I required a gastroscopy to remove the blockage, which also revealed a couple of significant tears along my oesophagus.  Four days in hospital, excellent care from medical staff, the love and support of family and friends, and faith fueled prayers for healing have led to a full recovery.  Praise the Lord!!

During my stay at the Dandenong Hospital it was interesting to observe the ethnic mix of medical staff, reflecting the cultural diversity of the greater city of Dandenong.  I was cared for by doctors, nurses and orderlies from a variety of Asian, Middle Eastern, Islander and African nations.  Beyond the obvious differences in appearances and accents was a universal professionalism and level of care that transcended these cultural differences.

As a sick and vulnerable white Australian laying in a hospital bed in an Australian public hospital, I couldn't avoid noticing the paradox between the care I received from culturally diverse health professionals and the care that is given by Australian political leaders to vulnerable people seeking asylum in Australia.

While our circumstances are very different the contrast in care cannot and should not go unnoticed.  Vulnerable and desperate human beings who cannot help themselves should be treated with dignity and compassion by those who can, regardless of their nationality and circumstances.  It was humbling to be cared for in my time of vulnerability by people from culturally and linguistically diverse backgrounds who experience racial discrimination and may well have family or friends being rejected by a government they are serving through their medical expertise.

In transit between Casey Hospital in Berwick and Dandenong Hospital I met an Indian taxi driver who is studying a Degree in Commerce and drives taxis part time because he is not entitled to the same study concessions as other Australians.  In the ward at Dandenong Hospital I met an Islander male nurse who showed a particular interest in my case because of his training as a doctor back home but who is not qualified to practice medicine in Australia.  Yet, in the bed next to me in the Day Treatment Centre at Dandenong I overheard the phone conversation of a young drug affected Australian making racially critical comments about the staff and service of the hospital.

The experience of being hospitalized this week, while unwelcomed on many levels, gave me a deeper respect for people from culturally diverse backgrounds and a stronger resolve to bridge the growing gap of misunderstanding between Australians and those who seek to call Australia home!

Budget For Mistakes

Among the many people I enjoy conversing with in my role as a Salvation Army Officer are leaders from other organisational contexts who experience similar sort of leadership successes and challenges as I do.  I had the opportunity to meet up with one such leader today, a very close friend who is currently the elected mayor of his city and a small business owner.  His leadership experience and knowledge is diverse and complex with the responsibility of working alongside other elected members of council, while at the same time managing a team of employees.

Our conversation recognised the vulnerability for leaders to admit their mistakes to their peers and those they lead.  Is this vulnerability a weakness or a strength?  Well, potentially both.  If admitting our mistakes is a window into our incompetence, then indeed it could well be a sign of weakness.  However, if it is a display of humility that reflects a solid character, willing to admit when wrong, but uncompromising, even amidst conflict, when right; then indeed it is a strength.  Unfortunately, personal insecurity and corporate competitiveness often creates an unsafe environment to openly admit ones mistakes.

My friend made a profound statement about how he influences his small business environment by sharing with me that he literally "budgets for mistakes."  The genius of this ethos is that it makes it safe for his staff to make decisions and risk failing without damaging the business.  Budgeting for mistakes enables the leader to give away power and empowers followers to have a go.  Budgeting for mistakes creates a culture of innovation where mistakes are acknowledged as a part of the process of growth.  Budgeting for mistakes promotes security instead of insecurity and collaboration instead of competition.

While the bottom line for my friends business is profitability, the principle of "budgeting for mistakes" could and should apply to whatever you define as your bottom line.  Maybe then the vulnerability of admitting our mistakes will be mitigated by a vibrant environment where people are encouraged to try and fail so they will try and succeed!

Who Are You Listening To?

As I engage in a variety of coaching, mentoring and pastoral relationships I observe a concerning pattern in how people navigate through challenging life issues.  When life gets tough there is a tendency to take the path of least resistance by withdrawing from people who will confront and gravitating towards people who will comfort.  In other words, we look for people who will tell us what we want to hear rather than those who will tell us what we need to hear!  This is a pattern that I see manifested in almost every area of life:

A couple going through a marriage crisis withdraws from mutual friends who see both sides of the relationship and gravitates towards people who will affirm their respective points of view.

A Christian who is struggling with faith withdraws from the fellowship of the Church and gravitates towards people who offer a more humanistic worldview.

A leader overwhelmed by the demands and expectations of leadership withdraws from positive networks and gravitates towards other disillusioned leaders.

While I don't pretend to understand the psychology of this pattern of behaviour, it is indicative of a 'fear of conflict' and 'avoidance of accountability' that seems so prevalent in our society.  This is not just an external observation, but one that comes from self-awareness of similar patterns I've wrestled with in my own life.  It is a strange paradox how human beings will withdraw from the very people who will contribute to our growth and gravitate towards people who will perpetuate our struggle.

In my discipleship and leadership journey I have learned the value of pursuing relationships with people who are further along their journey than me.  If I want to develop as a leader, then I need to align myself with leaders who are more experienced than I am.  If I want to seek marriage advice, then I need to interact with couples who have a strong and healthy relationship.  If I want to grow spiritually, then I need to worship and fellowship with the body of Christ.  For these relationships to really impact my life there needs to be a level of vulnerability and accountability where I am not afraid to engage in tough conversations and hear the things I don't want to hear.  It has been my experience that this is usually the point where people disengage.

We all like to be comforted during challenging times, but it is the willingness to engage in the conflict, in the context of accountable relationships, that we will grow through these challenges.

Heart & Mind

"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  (Philippians 4:7)

The heart is emotionally fragile and the mind intellectually vulnerable in a world of complex relationships and conflicting messages. As human beings we are largely shaped by what we feel and what we think, bringing internal conflict when our feelings are trampled and our thoughts are confused. 

In addressing a conlict between two women in the Philippian church, Paul redirects their attention away from their conflict towards Christ.  His encouragement reminds them that amidst their brokenness there is a unexplainable peace that can be known and experienced by presenting the fragility and vulnerability of their humanity to God in prayer.  Prayer opens our spirit to receive an inner peace that defies human logic, giving us confidence to entrust our heart and mind to the protective custody of Christ.