I'll Not Turn Back

"But our ancestors refused to obey him.  Instead, they rejected him and in their hearts turned back to Egypt."  (Acts 7:39)

In addressing the Sanhedrin, before whom Stephen stood condemned, Stephen confronted the religious leaders with a lesson from their own history about Moses being rejected by the people he was sent to rescue.  There is a disturbing truth about people turning their hearts back to a place of bondage that resonates with people who minister to others.

I can think of so many times as a church leader when I have journeyed with people through their brokenness, leading them towards a place of wholeness, to have them turn on me mid journey.  While a vision of a better future is more compelling than a broken past, the obstacles of the present often seem too overwhelming.  Or worse, the false sense of security found in a known past seems to offer more certainty than the insecurity of an unknown future, no matter how dysfunctional the past was or promising the future is.

As a leader, I am frustrated and grieved by this rejection and abandonment of the journey towards healing and wholeness.  But as a Christian, rescued by the grace of Jesus Christ, I am confronted by evidence of similar patterns in my own faith journey.  How many times do I find my "heart turned back to Egypt" when the pleasures of the past seem more alluring that the promises of the future or when challenged by the problems of the present?  How often do I resist or reject the power of the Spirit because my heart is turned from His presence?

This self-reflection evokes a stirring in my spirit and a renewed resolution to keep my eyes firmly fixed on Jesus (Hebrews 12:2) and my heart in step with the Spirit (Galatians 5:25), never turning back to the place from which I was rescued!

I will never be the same again,
I can never return, I've closed the door.
I will walk apart, I'll run the race
And I will never be the same again.
 

 Fall like fire, soak like rain,
Flow like mighty waters, again and again.
Sweep away the darkness, burn away the chaff,
And let a flame burn to glorify Your name.
 
There are higher heights, there are deeper seas,
Whatever you need to do, Lord do in me.
The Glory of God fills my life,
And I will never be the same again.
 
Fall like fire, soak like rain,
Flow like mighty waters, again and again.
Sweep away the darkness, burn away the chaff
And let a flame burn to glorify Your name.
 
I will never be the same again,
I can never return, I've closed the door.
I will walk the path, I will run the race
And I will never be the same again.
And I will never be the same again.
And I will never be the same again.

(Geoff Bullock)